If you haven’t read Tim Ferriss’ book, I highly recommend you check it out. It was my very first audiobook purchase (since I don’t have the attention span to read books) and I must admit I am not only hooked to audiobooks but to this concept of becoming a lifestyle entrepreneur. While there’s criticism about whether his tips and suggestions can be relatable to people who struggle to get their business ventures to a successful level, I must advocate for the underlying messages and simple tips that give this book its’ value. Not everyone will be able to afford the lifestyle he leads, however he provides a foundation upon which we can take away pieces of his wisdom and make our ideal lifestyle a reality.

I then came across the title of another book “Soul Proprietor: 101 Lessons from a Lifestyle Entrepreneur” and that’s when it hit me. In order to become a lifestyle entrepreneur I must embrace my business as a career and not as a side hustle. It was rather an enlightening and empowering AHA moment. Yet while it seemed like common sense, I found myself liberated from this mental trap I put myself in, though only for a limited time. I began to think about all the trials and tribulations I endured to get to where I am at and even though I am not where I would like to be I am content with where I am at because it’s where I need to be.

So in reflecting on this, I’ve come to a point where I want to make the ideological transition into a lifestyle entrepreneur. Not freelancer, not small business owner, not strategist or any of the other cliche titles I’ve taken on over the years. A “lifestyle entrepreneur” sounds happier. It gives a feeling that not only have I chosen my career path but I’ve paved my own road and make it a part of my life where I can still be happy and not worry about having to live double or triple lives. A lifestyle entrepreneurs creates their own reality and balances the nuisances of them rather well because it’s not the destination that matters, but rather it’s the journey.

By nature and nurture, I am a marketing person. I have ADD at times and struggle with staying still. I get distracted and bored easily. I think this is why I like marketing. I get to come up with all sorts of ideas for promoting something. I can think of off the wall concepts and call it “strategic marketing.” Then I get to step away and move on to another project that needs marketing. It wasn’t until recently that I get to do long-term marketing for my own projects and must learn to harness my energies and not drift off to lala land.

This is who I am. I’m a great consultant. I love coming up with ideas and telling people what to do but not in a bad way. I have a background in vocational counseling so I know how to listen to what others say, but more importantly what they don’t say. I’m an Internet addict so I am constantly online reading news, trends and tips on how to maximize marketing and pr efforts. So i decided to transform this blog into something more organic and reflective of who I am. Part business part personal, this blog is intended to be a fodder for my experiences as I embark on my various journeys. I also hope to connect my readers with the stories of leaders who have paved the way for entrepreneurs or advice from leaders who guide us through the challenges we face in a changing business economy.

As always, I’m accessible via email and open to ideas or suggestions on how to improve my blog.

The question that has been plaguing me for the past few weeks, or more like the past few months, is one I wanted to presented for open discussion.

Who closes our door to opportunity?

A few weeks ago I spoke with a friend who informed me that she would let go of her entrepreneurial endeavors to pursue a steady job since she has to now put her new family into consideration. Her rationale was that she was no longer acting for herself and has to make decisions based on what’s best for her boyfriend/fiance/husband (sorry I’m not sure what he is) and her future children, which she intends to have at some point. I’m trying not to be cynical. I was just wondering where this newfound sense of letting go one’s desires for a future that is not yet determined.

At first I thought, is it a “women” thing? Do women reach a self-imposed glass ceiling and then blame an establishment that they feel “‘holds them back’ or “judges them’ all because they choose to decide between a career or starting a family?

Or is it a burnt out entrepreneur disease that affects many ambitious people who just don’t have the desire or passion to pursue self employment?

I don’t know. I’ve spent the last few weeks wondering why I felt bad. I’m single and have no kids. So it is a luxury to pursue an entrepreneurial lifestyle because I have no “obligations” to others? I’ve seen many entrepreneurs stop short and return to the traditional jobs, not once looking back. They use rhetoric like “I wanted a real job” and the such, in an attempt to either deflect their shame for settling or to make other solopreneurs feel inadequate. It baffled me to no end. It’s a self-defeating attitude that breeds insecurities and selfishness. My dark angel wants to say “Just because you failed at it, doesn’t mean others will” but my good angel instead says “That sucks. Sorry to hear you gave up so soon.” (Yea even my good angel has a sarcastic side!)

All this reflection got me wondering. Who closes our door to opportunity? Do we close it prematurely or does “fate” do it when it’s time for us to move on? I read a number of different blogs in my iGoogle homepage. I know there’s people out there making it happen. And if the Secret teaches us to be positive and receptive to change, then can’t we reopen a closed door?

I just find it fascinating how we convince ourselves of our own realities, even though it’s a manifestation of our fears. I think of my friend who gave up on pursuing what was her passion, at some point in her life. If it’s that’s easy to let go, then it was something she never really wanted in the first place. But maybe I’m just being too judgemental.

I’ve always considered myself to be the exception of the average woman. I have an impulse control problem, thus my constantly clicking away to banner ads and websites not directly related to my job. What can I say, I get bored easily. I have computer ADD. I look at many of the websites “tailored” for women and I don’t frequent them often. I don’t shop online as much as the next chick. I know about most of the women websites because my job is to know what’s going on in the Internet realm, not because I have a shopping addiction to shoes. Maybe I should check “male” when filling out online market research polls. Sometimes I feel like I think more like a guy than a girl. Then it hit me, one of my oh-so-frequent “Aha” moments. Why do I feel bad about not being the typical “chick”?

I love my job. I work with a lot of guys and I’m glad I do because they cut the crap out of our working relationships. No drama, no personalizing, no “why can’t we be friends too” issues. I’d like to think that maybe I represent a different type of woman, one that doesn’t have to apologize for being a girl with a guy’s mind. Granted, when you see my blog for the first time it’s pretty HARD to disguise that I’m a chick, and a girlie chick at that. I was conflicted with the design because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go with a whimsical girlie motif. I’ve designed websites before and for my business and projects I’m always told to stay away from pink or anything that will gender-fy my online presence. If I wanted to appeal to guys as well I should remain “neutral.”

But why?

When I think about what women want, I think of me and about what I want.

• I want to not have to apologize for being a girl but still be able to play with the boys.
• I want to not have to worry about women hating on me because of that.
• I want to be able to express my thoughts and feelings and not have to worry about them being used against me to help compensate for their overblown egos and insecurities.

How do these “wants” translate into online behavior patterns? Maybe I’m checking out Wired instead of Glam. Or perhaps I pay more attention to articles about SEO than I do to the numerous Daily Candy emails I have yet to open. I’m not saying I don’t connect with that feminine community.

I’m just simply asking how do we quantify the different types of women that use the Internet for different purposes because I think at the end of the day all women want is to not be compartmentalized.