Internet Mogal

As I begin to build this blog, I’ve often thought about what is my end goal? I write to speak and in order to do so I need to make sure I have something worthwhile to say.

The question that has been plaguing me for the past few weeks, or more like the past few months, is one I wanted to presented for open discussion.

Who closes our door to opportunity?

A few weeks ago I spoke with a friend who informed me that she would let go of her entrepreneurial endeavors to pursue a steady job since she has to now put her new family into consideration. Her rationale was that she was no longer acting for herself and has to make decisions based on what’s best for her boyfriend/fiance/husband (sorry I’m not sure what he is) and her future children, which she intends to have at some point. I’m trying not to be cynical. I was just wondering where this newfound sense of letting go one’s desires for a future that is not yet determined.

At first I thought, is it a “women” thing? Do women reach a self-imposed glass ceiling and then blame an establishment that they feel “‘holds them back’ or “judges them’ all because they choose to decide between a career or starting a family?

Or is it a burnt out entrepreneur disease that affects many ambitious people who just don’t have the desire or passion to pursue self employment?

I don’t know. I’ve spent the last few weeks wondering why I felt bad. I’m single and have no kids. So it is a luxury to pursue an entrepreneurial lifestyle because I have no “obligations” to others? I’ve seen many entrepreneurs stop short and return to the traditional jobs, not once looking back. They use rhetoric like “I wanted a real job” and the such, in an attempt to either deflect their shame for settling or to make other solopreneurs feel inadequate. It baffled me to no end. It’s a self-defeating attitude that breeds insecurities and selfishness. My dark angel wants to say “Just because you failed at it, doesn’t mean others will” but my good angel instead says “That sucks. Sorry to hear you gave up so soon.” (Yea even my good angel has a sarcastic side!)

All this reflection got me wondering. Who closes our door to opportunity? Do we close it prematurely or does “fate” do it when it’s time for us to move on? I read a number of different blogs in my iGoogle homepage. I know there’s people out there making it happen. And if the Secret teaches us to be positive and receptive to change, then can’t we reopen a closed door?

I just find it fascinating how we convince ourselves of our own realities, even though it’s a manifestation of our fears. I think of my friend who gave up on pursuing what was her passion, at some point in her life. If it’s that’s easy to let go, then it was something she never really wanted in the first place. But maybe I’m just being too judgemental.